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Blasphemy

by fAlterboy

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1.
Trapped in this invention, powered by my own demise Like a fool I keep on thinking I can chop it down to size But the inventions only purpose is to return my every blow Battle locked forever, with me my only foe Well maybe this is a disease, maybe there's no cure To cure me is to kill me, of that I'm all too sure Why do you sit there watching? Why do you only stare? Can't you come and help me can't you get me out? Or is this just my cross to bear, no matter how I shout? Or maybe this is a disease, maybe there's no cure To cure me is to kill me, of that I'm all too sure
2.
Do you remember our curbside improv outside of bars We would stumble to our cars, convince each other not to drive So we could make it home alive Well was that yesterday, or was it last year I'm a little drunk now so it's not all clear But then again nothing's as easy As well I loved you and you loved me When I loved you and you loved me I've gotta stop doing this to myself While there's still a self to do it to Well I'd stop if I could start, but I start and stop with you Well there's nothing I'd have you do, at least not till I can get a clue Just be you and I'll be me, and together or apart maybe we can see, just what this world was meant to be When I loved you and you loved me. When I loved you and you loved me Do you remember our curbside improv when we were young and having fun. I swear to God I thought I'd won. But then the game reset, summers started anew But if I could I'd still take that bet, and maybe take a closer look at the foot on the other shoe. Back in the day when you loved me, and me, well I loved you.
3.
Vinetree 03:29
We got back from the Dr. YOu and me and Underdog There was lava on the carpet and the stairs beheld a fog But I will meet you at the vinetree with bouquets' of queen Ann's lace I will meet you at the vinetree with Kool-aid stains upon my face Playing football on the sidelines the smell of leaves burning the air Playing football on the sidelines, there were no flags because we played fair Whatever happened to our vinetree why did I say I need my space Whatever happened to our vinetree Now cigarettes they steal my taste But I will meet you at the vinetree with bouquets' of queen Ann's lace I will meet you at the vinetree, lord please tell me it's a place
4.
I'm just a dolled up low life, a dapper degenerate, sweating for someone else's' dream. And my mind says nothing to it, but my back it wants to scream. I know tomorrow is going to bring a better day, I don't care what the papers say. I've got a better life coming. Living in Ybor second floor, dodging ties and not keeping score, I'm just living the dream and watching the show...below I know tomorrow is going to bring a better day. I don't care what the papers say. I've got a better life coming.
5.
Tell 03:13
We had our talk in the night of clay, pushing our ashes around the tray. She held her breath the moment stone mine, she looked me over searching for a sign. Four more days and the bills are due Empty cupboards home feels like a zoo. Dread staying home drunk all alone Take a deep breath put on your shoes Nights they have their way of breaking And hearts well they way nights as well and fists they have their way of shaking But the eyes they always tell. Her silent tears they burnt my shoulder Some nights I wish I never told her But the flipping coin that is the night Sometimes it fails, sometimes it's right.
6.
We sat in art class, you wouldn't believe my boasts about my size But with your hand down my pants you began to realize Well I couldn't have drawn a more perfect smile that day with live forever in the school's permanent files And you said I'm just a public service slut No I don't really give a fuck about you You, you slept with my best ex-friend and me I could not comprehend but you, you said it the best as you settled in with all the rest You said I'm just a public service slut No I don't really give a fuck about you. We made our way to the 18th green spread the blanket while we worried about being seen. I"m not sure of the final score, but I got a hole in one on a par four
7.
Porch lights on late tonight and we can't seem to get it right I'm thinking one of us might kill the other soon. I"m stuck between uncertainty and the patience just to sit and wait and I'm hoping this is all a big cartoon because my sun dried visions dance around your moon. So I"m walking Nebraska with a blue attitude, sick of all my selfish dreams my moans of passion and guilty screams walking Nebraska Alpine Liquors on my right. The neons glowing, call it a night, I'm walking Nebraska down to Hollywood street I've got reasons too late all I feel is concrete. Walking Nebraska I call it a night. I just don't think my dusty Chucks can cross this street of love.
8.
Can you see my envy, blistering before you mocking happiness Sincerely glad but somehow mad Not allowed to make you smile, but somehow you got it right Was it you that said doubt can ruin a man Well sometimes all you need is just one smiling fan What's that? Heaven sends its best, well save me a seat cause I'm headed west But the sun won't last forever, so when it finally sets, we can get together and talk about things past And we'll finally set our memories straight, and I'll expect the facts that wait. Can you see my envy blistering before you, mocking happiness.
9.
You don't meet someone special you make them Weather from scratch or Frankensteineske from bits and pieces of past loves and lovers and it's your own handiwork that either shines or rests blameful under the scrutiny of your own dreams It's never to dark to have a good day, hands they never folly only sway, nothing is less fun that perfection. No true mystery ever bores. Others simply reflect you the only true choice in life is weather to choose flat or fun house friends

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released October 23, 2015

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fAlterboy Grand Rapids, Michigan

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